“You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.” – Larry Kersten
“Zina, the quick step, the quick step!” Tim my physical therapist reminds me as we walk outside.
“I know Tim, I know,” I respond tired and sort of out of breath from walking for a while.
When I use one cane he says that. It’s a cue to get me to move faster. My legs don’t like to. So he uses the words “quick step” to remind me. We joke he needs to patent that. Quick step means simultaneously picking up the cane in my left, and my right foot at the same time. And it’s a reminder to not pause. I like to pause before I bear weight onto my right foot, because there’s weakness in my hip. But the quick step is a reminder to bear weight and let the foot roll through.
I tend to stop and just stand when I get really tired. I sometimes hold the cane with two hands. My left leg doesn’t always cross over my right. My left leg is stronger but my trouble seems to be holding up my right. If only my right were as strong as my left, then it would be easier to do. Walking with one cane would be more effortless. My goal is that it will be, one day.
He holds me with a gait belt sometimes as a precaution in case I lose my balance and fall. It happened once. It’s humbling, because I’m not a child and to any adult passing by, it’s obviously not easy to walk! People look. People smile. I smile back. What can I do. This is what I have to go through, to achieve my goal. I want to walk with nothing one day. Not an easy task with all the injuries I had.
But healing is a process. The walker wasn’t easy many years ago, and neither were the forearm crutches. Now it’s the one cane. So I remind myself, “persistence is the key to success.” It’s as if the left cane is working as an extra leg sometimes, to hold up my right. It’s amazing what muscles learn to be dormant, when we don’t use them.
I’m making progress…
I’m up to an hour of walking on one cane with only one break. I can walk up to several hundred feet. That is improvement for me. And next week we’re starting physical therapy two times a week, so I know I will improve.
It’s still not comfortable. It’s still not effortless. I can’t wait for the day when it is. And I can just take steps naturally, or normally. I’m up to 30 minutes straight on the elliptical. It feels good to be able to do that!
“Michelangelo didn’t sculpt the Pieta in a day. He spent years breathing life into the marble.” – Nancy Davidoff A quote I wanted to share. It’s the same with the body and the muscles.. we need exercise to breathe life into them. The body has an amazing ability to recover itself, but you must not give up on faith.
A verse from the Bible that helps me:
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Tim. 4:7
That’s what I hope to do!
notwithoutgod.net 
I walk with a single crutch due to spinal avm at t12, i hope to just use one cane full time outdoor too.
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Best of luck to you Chui! I’m sure you’ll get there.
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I admire so much your courage and determination to make yourself do what is outside of your comfort zone. We all fear falling down when we attempt to do something new.
Unfortunately, that fear can keep us from advancing toward our dreams. I know that fear has hindered me.
You inspire me to keep on trying new things even if I fall down and people look at me. Thanks for sharing so honestly and openly your struggles. You’re right, perseverance and persistence are the keys to success in achieving any dream. You go girl! I’m cheering you on. 🙂
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Sharon, your comments are always so helpful! Thank you for reminding me it’s normal to be afraid when trying something new. I’m glad i’ve inspired you, because you’ve inspired me too 🙂 So thankful I have your support!
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